Текст песни J. Cole - Once an Addict (Interlude)

Right, right, right, right, Something's got a hold on me. Right, right, right, right, Sometimes I think pain is just a lack of understanding. If we could only understand it all, would we feel no pain? God must feel no pain. Something's got a hold on me, Only joy, Does this mean even our suffering pleases Him? Lost in a cloud of marijuana, Young Carolina nigga, fish outta water. Step-daddy just had a daughter with another woman, Mama ain't recover yet, Callin' me at 12 at night, She drunk as fuck and I'm upset. 'Cause why she always usin' me for crutch? Growin' up I used to always see her up Late as shit, cigarette smoke and Greatest Hits from Marvin Gaye, She kill a whole bottle of some cheap chardonnay. I gotta leave this house 'cause part of me dies when I see her like this, Too young to deal with pain, I'd rather run the streets than see her kill herself, So 'Ville became my escape from a feelin' I hate, Mama cursin' me out, Depression's such a villainous state. I used to stay out later on purpose, Subconsciously I was nervous That if I came home early then what would surface was Her inner demons, And then I'd have to end up seein' my hero on ground zero. Tears flow while Al Green blow, “Love and happiness”, I wish that I could say the right words to cheer her up, I wish her son's love was enough. I tell her, "Mama, go to sleep" She tell me, "Boy, hush! You better pray to God you never get your heart crushed!" I shake my head in frustration, Head to my room and I can still hear the tunes when my door shut, Fuck it though, a couple more months I'll be gone Off to college and dorms, Foolin' myself, thinkin' problems are gone. But now it's 1 a.m. and my mama dialin' my phone, I know she intoxicated, and soon this high that I'm on comes crashin' down, She lit, talkin' drunk shit, I'm pissed, But I'm still all ears like Basset hounds. Thinkin' to myself, "Maybe my mama need help. Don't she got work it the morning? Why she do this to herself? Hate how she slurrin' her words, Soundin' so fuckin' absurd! This ain't the woman I know! Why I just sit and observe?! Why don't I say how I feel?! When I do, she's defensive for real. Well, maybe things get better with time, I heard it heals." Little did I know how deep her sadness would go, Lookin' back, I wish I woulda did more instead of runnin'. Something's got a hold on me, I can't let it go Outta fear I won't be free. Something's got a hold on me, I can't let it go Outta fear I won't be... No! Something's got a hold on me, I can't let it go. Right! Life can bring much pain, There are many ways to deal with this pain. Choose wisely.
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