Lately I’ve been really stressed out I have done many dumb things Like leaving a show cos someone in the front row spilled a drink And walking round naked while photographers snapped pics of my peen Then claiming I was a victim of shrinkage My manager told me to make a song to apologize He told me to act like my life is hard so people empathize Then he said to look at the camera and made sad puppy dog eyes Cos it would make my teen girl fans feel bad for me When I publicly say I’m sorry Everyone will instantly forgive me And once they do that I can get away with anything So once I’ve said I’m sorry, I did bad I can go back to being a douchebag I’m sorry… Yeah… Sorry… Yeah… Sorry… I can act like a total piece of shit As long as I say I’m sorry for it I could seduce a hot mom and talk her into intercourse Tell her to leave her husband for me and cause her to get divorced Then when I bail it’s ok as long as I express remorse I’ve forgiven for ruining her family I could punch a bum in the tummy And I could eat your food if it’s yummy Wow these fries are good I could even kick someone’s baby As long as I pretend I feel regret I could beat an old man with a baguette I’m sorry…Yeah… Sorry…Yeah… Sorry… I just saw Star Wars The Force Awakens Now I’ll tweet out spoilers of how it ends Oh… wait! Hold on… I’m sorry…man. I’m sorry, don’t do it. No! I’m sorry… Sorry… Yeah… Sorry… Hey I said sorry Kylo what the fuck? Now put my head back on you stupid schmuck!
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