We were kids with no sense of direction. Our parents saw it in their own reflections. Fucked up and consumed by religion, they drank themselves into oblivion. Your father used to lie through his teeth, consumed by his vices beyond belief. There were no signs of hope. The truth is we always begged for an overdose. I know it's too late and you're dead and gone. But I wish I could have exposed what was so fucking wrong. I hope the guilt keeps them awake at night. I haven't felt the same since the day that you died. Nothing lasts but I thought you would. Looking back, you were misunderstood. But now, you're in the past and there's nothing to say. You paid the price and they looked the other way. Where I'm now is a place I can't stand. Too many questions unanswered. I'm a worthless man. It's done, it's done. I'm done, I'm done. I can't feel a thing anymore. I'm so fucking numb. Looking back, we were too young to understand. They always said it was just part of God's plan. That's such a poor excuse for what he did. He was a coward with a fist and you were just a defenseless kid. I always play it different in my head, the ways it could have gone instead. I was always told to never say never but now I know there's no such thing as forever.
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