Now beat that! And your mothers saying, “Go to college!” So you finish college, and it's wonderful! You feel so good. And after all the partying and craziness, and don't forget about that drug habit you picked up at school from being around your peers. Hey! Now you'll get that twenty-five thousand dollar job a year and you'll spend all your money on crack cocaine, but, it'll be your money. No more borrowing from mom for my high. So now you get your degree tattooed on your back, ‘cause you're so excited about it. If you continue to work at the Gap after several interviews, oh, my God! You'll come in at an entry-level position, and if you do that, if you kiss enough ass, you'll move up to the next level which is being the secretary's secretary. And, boy, is that great? You can take messages for the secretary who never went to college, she's actually the boss's niece! So now you're part of the family. You know what college does for you? It makes you really smart, man! You kids wanted to talk in the back of the class? Not me, I listened, okay? I was a hall monitor, this was meant to be. You know how many classes I took? Extra classes? No, I've never had sex, but, you know what? My degree keeps me satisfied. When a lady wakes to me says, “You know what's sexy?” No, I don't know what it is, but I bet I can add up all the change in your purse very fast.
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