Текст песни Tim Wilson - 100 things every man should know

I had a crazy uncle That was on his deathbed a long time ago, He said "Boy... there's a hundred things in life Every man needs to know to survive... And here's 39 of em'" 1 A virgin don't never drive a z-28 2 Never bet the ranch On your prostate 3 If it's got an adams apple It's probley a man 4 Never trust a gay gypsy With the palm of your hand 5 She didn't accidently get good in bed 6 You can't join a church If you'r already dead 7 A work uniform ain't totally nude 8 Bream and bass ain't seafood 9 When there's guns in the house One better be yours 10 Don't be naked next to Any fishin' lures 11 If there's girl scout cookies She's a little too young 12 If you say I do... Be the ugly one 13 Don't ever let a bald man Borry your comb 14 Never play strip poker In a nursin' home 15 Don't blame your pall bearers Cuz they don't show If your buried In the middle of the super bowl 16 Let people borrow money They'll leave you alone 17 Never fry bacon without a shirt on 18 Never spray water on a hornets nest 19 A woman rarely aces The drivers test 20 The sign probably Don't really mean massage 21 Never threaten anybody in camoflauge 22 Say you love her til she lays down the butcher knife 23 Never put the move on the bosses wife 24 She's messin' round on ya If yer briefs don't fit 25 Never trust a hitch-hiker to babysit 26 Cosmo's never In a happy home 27 You can't cut a deal with a kidney stone 28 A politician ain't got an HMO 29 Washin' her hair Means she don't wanna go 30 Don't ridicule a biker bout' his tatoo 31 You been married nine times... Hell maybe it's you 32 Doom ain't the same as donkey kong 33 If he's wearing high heels You mighta raised him wrong 34 The clinic ain't the best place to pick up dates 35 Don't rent a room from a man named Bates 36 A tank tops never on a billionaire 37 Stevie Ray Vaughn missed a note here and there 38 How many get to heaven noone knows (39) But hell will be asses and elbows And then he died... Crazy fool rolled over and DIED! And never did tell me what them other 61 things were... So if anybody out there knows... How bout gettin' ahold of me at Tim Wilson dot net
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